If I Could See You Now

June 2, 2013

Dear Amanda:

You are reading this letter now and I hope that you will remember what you felt when you were writing this. Right now things look rough, people doubt you, but you ignore it. You let it wash over you because you know that you can be somebody. Still, nobody is completely immune to that which people say continuously. What two years can do to a person is amazing to think about, it fills me with hope. I pray that you keep focused on what is truly important and stay away from drama like it is the plague.

You have been through a lot in the two years that you have been in high school and there is no doubt that the next two years will be even worse. I guess we are not very optimistic, are we? But this is the truth, school is hard and you know that no matter what you have to get through and hold strong. Everybody around you thinks that everything comes easily to you, but we will always know the truth. It is never going to get easier, but the rewards will be worth it. Just think; you will be helping those around you. Saving people and touching lives through your work. We will finally doing something worth while with our life. No matter what those around us believe, we work harder than they think to be who we are.

Our family always questioned the sanity in wanting to go into the medical field. That is how our family is, but keep in mind that behind their rough exterior, they are going to support you no matter what. We know more than anything that life is never as it seems. Always look for the calm amidst the utter chaos that is your life. If you are reading this in the next few years then you still have a long way to go, but I trust you. You have gotten this far and you have never been the one to quit despite any circumstances.

I wish you luck, God knows that you need it.

Yours truly,

Amanda Worcester

Forgiveness

I am one that either does not feel or feels too greatly
Many times when forgiveness is in question my feelings are not sedately

To forgive is to forget and that is something that I can not do
This is something to which I have no clue

Life is what a person makes
Nobody is perfect, everybody makes mistakes

I myself am not excluded
When I let myself down the feelings are not deluded

Many times I need to forgive myself
This is a thing that people need to remind themselves

Forgiveness is something that everybody must face
At some point in their lives there will be stakes

Whether I want to deal with a difficult decision or not
I have learned that it is something that is not bought

If I expect forgiveness from myself and others
I must deal with the situation at hand and then be open to anothers
 

Love and Companionship

There is love and companionship in every situation whether it is recognized or not. These are part of human emotions and they can not be ignored. Even the loner has companionship in their lives. That is one of the more important parts of life. The ability to talk to somebody and have them understand what you are going through is important. There is also the need to have somebody that can sympathise with the individual. Every person has the need to have that in their life and companions provide that comfort. The ability to love is also important. Whether it is the act of being loved or loving something else, it is needed in life. This does not always have to apply to animate objects. Loving things is also very common.

I am an awkward person and I find that I am more comfortable with books. I can have the love and companionship without the strange social aspect. The characters provide the companionship that life does not always bring. One can also experience love with books as well. If it is a good book, the reader feels the love that the author puts into it and that is more than one can ask for.
  

Rejection

Many times in a person's life they may feel like they have been rejected. I would be surprised if any individual could say that they have not been rejected before. The truth is that whether intentional or not, feelings may get hurt. This may be as simple as getting snubbed by the popular crowd, or even by somebody that is held in esteem.

An example of a situation in which one is repeatedly getting rejected will, in this case, involve Hannah, Callie, and Katie. All three are very good friends, but Hannah and Katie have become closer to each other and have started to exclude Callie from their activities. Callie will ask to hang out with them and both will say that they are not allowed to go anywhere that day. Callie later finds out that it is because they wanted to hang out without her. They both lied to her, somebody that considered the girls as friends. Callie is now without her two best friends. This snubbing did not just happen out of the blue though, it came on subtly. One day they are hanging out, and then the next they do not sit together at lunch, then the next the girls do not go to each others houses. It is not for lack of want, but for the change in the attitude of the two other girls. Callie is no longer part of the in crowd and now she has no more friends.

This may sound like it is not a big deal, but it can be crushing. These people were not just random strangers that did not want to be with her, but her best friends. She was used to having the companionship of these people, but they changed. They no longer included her and that hurt her. She may have felt like she had done something wrong that deserved the other girls censure. She lost not only her friends, but her self confidence because of some unfeeling people. 

It does not always happen this way though. The people do not have to reject others intentionally and feelings are not always meant to be hurt. An example is colleges. They can not let everybody into their school. They have to reject people and it is not to hurt them. There are choices that have to be made, even if they are hard.

Responsibility

A situation where the responsibility may fall on either person is when a patient takes a medicine and they have a reaction. Is it the persons fault for taking a medication that they may have a reaction to, or is it the company’s fault for not testing the product well enough and labeling the side effects? I feel that this is the individuals fault. While I know that sometimes bad things happen and can not be prevented, this could have. Knowing what causes reactions in one self is the individual’s responsibility.

I define who has responsibility by the one who could have prevented it. In the examples given, the person who has faulty brakes is the one responsible even though the other person is the one who had the accident. The first person had the responsibility to have a safe vehicle for the other to drive. If it is a persons fault when something bad happens then they need to take responsibility for it. The American society has a habit of pushing things off and honesty has become rare.  

When something bad happens and I am involved, I look at who was doing what. If I was supposed to wash the dishes and it never got done than it was my fault. If my mom told my brother to tell me to do the dishes and I never got the message, than it is not my fault. I would have done the dishes if I was asked, but I was never asked because my brother never relayed the message. In this case it is his fault. He was asked to do something and did not do it and as I result I did not do what I was asked to do.

           

Of Course it is Theater Related

  

I have found that the project that was the most difficult brought me the most joy. In ninth grade English I did a project about Johnson’s Island. We were told to either pick a part out of Rebels on Lake Erie or to find another topic. Many times it was mentioned that the prisoners held on the island formed both musical and theatrical groups. This interested me as I am a drama student and the idea of learning about a theater that was 150 years old drove me to make the decision to research it. Later in the year we excavated block eight which was perfect because that is the block in which the shows were held. This may sound like the perfect project, I was interested in my topic and that was all I should ask for, but it was truly difficult.

I found that researching the activities of men from 150 years ago was easier said than done. While the documents at Johnson’s Island were superb coming from educated officers, they were limited on content pertaining to the theater. It took hours of combing through articles, discussion boards, published papers, and old documents, but I finished my project.

I could not have asked for a better conclusion to my project. I found more information than I could have ever imagined was possible. This was the one project that I truly enjoyed putting together. Most projects feel like work, but this one did not. I spent hours filled with curiosity about what I would find next and that was worth the hassle of trying to read the writing from a century ago.

I also tied this project into my own life. I was talking to my grandparents about this project and I mentioned that there was a violin that was carved on the island and used in the shows. My grandmother then led me to an upstairs closet and pulled out a violin. This was my many greats grandfather’s and he obtained it from another prisoner at Libby Prison. While I researched the life of Confederate soldiers I found that the life of a Union soldier was right in front of me. I continue to research Libby Prison and I am glad that I can continue an amazing project.

To Those in Pursuit of Adventure:

Throughout the known ages people have explored the unknown and made discoveries. It may be as simple as figuring out a wheel axle or as major as finding a new continent. Many people have yearned to understand the mysteries of the world and they have done this in many ways. Some go on voyage looking for specific things and they find it. Others have a specific goal in mind and they find something unexpected. An example of the last is Christopher Columbus. He thought that he was finding an easier way of getting to India, yet the discovery he made by accident changed the course of the world.  From sailing across the world to walking miles through the desert, people have found something that unravels the mysterious unknown of the universe.

To devote oneself to a life of discovery and exploration must be a difficult thing. There are so many things that will have to be sacrificed, but I do not think that they see it that way. We see sailing under cruel conditions to a freezing place while they see an unknown region that no man has ever walked. Anything can happen and they never know what they are going to find; that is what drives them. They want to be that person to unravel the mysteries and maybe even make the world a better place for it.

Those who choose to pursue the unknown have a difficult path. Months or even years can be spent on just one exploration. Many times these people go without the basic supplies and they have to endure it. Most explorers are willing to give up anything to find what they are looking for. Relationships, hygiene, health, and even sanity may be sacrificed to discover something new.  Not many can do something like this and those who do should be commended for coming back intact.