If I Could See You Now

June 2, 2013

Dear Amanda:

You are reading this letter now and I hope that you will remember what you felt when you were writing this. Right now things look rough, people doubt you, but you ignore it. You let it wash over you because you know that you can be somebody. Still, nobody is completely immune to that which people say continuously. What two years can do to a person is amazing to think about, it fills me with hope. I pray that you keep focused on what is truly important and stay away from drama like it is the plague.

You have been through a lot in the two years that you have been in high school and there is no doubt that the next two years will be even worse. I guess we are not very optimistic, are we? But this is the truth, school is hard and you know that no matter what you have to get through and hold strong. Everybody around you thinks that everything comes easily to you, but we will always know the truth. It is never going to get easier, but the rewards will be worth it. Just think; you will be helping those around you. Saving people and touching lives through your work. We will finally doing something worth while with our life. No matter what those around us believe, we work harder than they think to be who we are.

Our family always questioned the sanity in wanting to go into the medical field. That is how our family is, but keep in mind that behind their rough exterior, they are going to support you no matter what. We know more than anything that life is never as it seems. Always look for the calm amidst the utter chaos that is your life. If you are reading this in the next few years then you still have a long way to go, but I trust you. You have gotten this far and you have never been the one to quit despite any circumstances.

I wish you luck, God knows that you need it.

Yours truly,

Amanda Worcester

Forgiveness

I am one that either does not feel or feels too greatly
Many times when forgiveness is in question my feelings are not sedately

To forgive is to forget and that is something that I can not do
This is something to which I have no clue

Life is what a person makes
Nobody is perfect, everybody makes mistakes

I myself am not excluded
When I let myself down the feelings are not deluded

Many times I need to forgive myself
This is a thing that people need to remind themselves

Forgiveness is something that everybody must face
At some point in their lives there will be stakes

Whether I want to deal with a difficult decision or not
I have learned that it is something that is not bought

If I expect forgiveness from myself and others
I must deal with the situation at hand and then be open to anothers
 

Love and Companionship

There is love and companionship in every situation whether it is recognized or not. These are part of human emotions and they can not be ignored. Even the loner has companionship in their lives. That is one of the more important parts of life. The ability to talk to somebody and have them understand what you are going through is important. There is also the need to have somebody that can sympathise with the individual. Every person has the need to have that in their life and companions provide that comfort. The ability to love is also important. Whether it is the act of being loved or loving something else, it is needed in life. This does not always have to apply to animate objects. Loving things is also very common.

I am an awkward person and I find that I am more comfortable with books. I can have the love and companionship without the strange social aspect. The characters provide the companionship that life does not always bring. One can also experience love with books as well. If it is a good book, the reader feels the love that the author puts into it and that is more than one can ask for.
  

Rejection

Many times in a person's life they may feel like they have been rejected. I would be surprised if any individual could say that they have not been rejected before. The truth is that whether intentional or not, feelings may get hurt. This may be as simple as getting snubbed by the popular crowd, or even by somebody that is held in esteem.

An example of a situation in which one is repeatedly getting rejected will, in this case, involve Hannah, Callie, and Katie. All three are very good friends, but Hannah and Katie have become closer to each other and have started to exclude Callie from their activities. Callie will ask to hang out with them and both will say that they are not allowed to go anywhere that day. Callie later finds out that it is because they wanted to hang out without her. They both lied to her, somebody that considered the girls as friends. Callie is now without her two best friends. This snubbing did not just happen out of the blue though, it came on subtly. One day they are hanging out, and then the next they do not sit together at lunch, then the next the girls do not go to each others houses. It is not for lack of want, but for the change in the attitude of the two other girls. Callie is no longer part of the in crowd and now she has no more friends.

This may sound like it is not a big deal, but it can be crushing. These people were not just random strangers that did not want to be with her, but her best friends. She was used to having the companionship of these people, but they changed. They no longer included her and that hurt her. She may have felt like she had done something wrong that deserved the other girls censure. She lost not only her friends, but her self confidence because of some unfeeling people. 

It does not always happen this way though. The people do not have to reject others intentionally and feelings are not always meant to be hurt. An example is colleges. They can not let everybody into their school. They have to reject people and it is not to hurt them. There are choices that have to be made, even if they are hard.

Responsibility

A situation where the responsibility may fall on either person is when a patient takes a medicine and they have a reaction. Is it the persons fault for taking a medication that they may have a reaction to, or is it the company’s fault for not testing the product well enough and labeling the side effects? I feel that this is the individuals fault. While I know that sometimes bad things happen and can not be prevented, this could have. Knowing what causes reactions in one self is the individual’s responsibility.

I define who has responsibility by the one who could have prevented it. In the examples given, the person who has faulty brakes is the one responsible even though the other person is the one who had the accident. The first person had the responsibility to have a safe vehicle for the other to drive. If it is a persons fault when something bad happens then they need to take responsibility for it. The American society has a habit of pushing things off and honesty has become rare.  

When something bad happens and I am involved, I look at who was doing what. If I was supposed to wash the dishes and it never got done than it was my fault. If my mom told my brother to tell me to do the dishes and I never got the message, than it is not my fault. I would have done the dishes if I was asked, but I was never asked because my brother never relayed the message. In this case it is his fault. He was asked to do something and did not do it and as I result I did not do what I was asked to do.

           

Of Course it is Theater Related

  

I have found that the project that was the most difficult brought me the most joy. In ninth grade English I did a project about Johnson’s Island. We were told to either pick a part out of Rebels on Lake Erie or to find another topic. Many times it was mentioned that the prisoners held on the island formed both musical and theatrical groups. This interested me as I am a drama student and the idea of learning about a theater that was 150 years old drove me to make the decision to research it. Later in the year we excavated block eight which was perfect because that is the block in which the shows were held. This may sound like the perfect project, I was interested in my topic and that was all I should ask for, but it was truly difficult.

I found that researching the activities of men from 150 years ago was easier said than done. While the documents at Johnson’s Island were superb coming from educated officers, they were limited on content pertaining to the theater. It took hours of combing through articles, discussion boards, published papers, and old documents, but I finished my project.

I could not have asked for a better conclusion to my project. I found more information than I could have ever imagined was possible. This was the one project that I truly enjoyed putting together. Most projects feel like work, but this one did not. I spent hours filled with curiosity about what I would find next and that was worth the hassle of trying to read the writing from a century ago.

I also tied this project into my own life. I was talking to my grandparents about this project and I mentioned that there was a violin that was carved on the island and used in the shows. My grandmother then led me to an upstairs closet and pulled out a violin. This was my many greats grandfather’s and he obtained it from another prisoner at Libby Prison. While I researched the life of Confederate soldiers I found that the life of a Union soldier was right in front of me. I continue to research Libby Prison and I am glad that I can continue an amazing project.

To Those in Pursuit of Adventure:

Throughout the known ages people have explored the unknown and made discoveries. It may be as simple as figuring out a wheel axle or as major as finding a new continent. Many people have yearned to understand the mysteries of the world and they have done this in many ways. Some go on voyage looking for specific things and they find it. Others have a specific goal in mind and they find something unexpected. An example of the last is Christopher Columbus. He thought that he was finding an easier way of getting to India, yet the discovery he made by accident changed the course of the world.  From sailing across the world to walking miles through the desert, people have found something that unravels the mysterious unknown of the universe.

To devote oneself to a life of discovery and exploration must be a difficult thing. There are so many things that will have to be sacrificed, but I do not think that they see it that way. We see sailing under cruel conditions to a freezing place while they see an unknown region that no man has ever walked. Anything can happen and they never know what they are going to find; that is what drives them. They want to be that person to unravel the mysteries and maybe even make the world a better place for it.

Those who choose to pursue the unknown have a difficult path. Months or even years can be spent on just one exploration. Many times these people go without the basic supplies and they have to endure it. Most explorers are willing to give up anything to find what they are looking for. Relationships, hygiene, health, and even sanity may be sacrificed to discover something new.  Not many can do something like this and those who do should be commended for coming back intact.

Lying

   In this society lying is not uncommon. It has become the social norm in everyday situations and even at a national level. I do not agree with the way the world lies. I have found that people usually lie either get themselves out of bad situations or to prevent the situations from happening. Most of the time this is not called for and they are just trying to save themselves from a problem that they caused. "I swear police officer, I did not steal this watch." In this case, the person is trying to get out of a situation that they willingly put themselves in and are now trying to cover up. This is not the way to go through life. Most of the time the person gets caught in their lie and they are in more trouble than they would have been if they told the truth in the first place.
   While I do not normally condone lying, I do admit that it is sometimes necessary. If a detective is undercover and they lie about who they are and what they do, that is something that has to be done. It is something that will have consequences that help the greater good. The perpetrator will end up in jail and society will not longer have to worry about crimes being committed by that individual. These situations are not everyday occurrences though, and should not be treated lightly. People should not lie just to make their lives easier. If somebody does lie it should be because the truth may end up having horrible consequences for a good person.

High School

     High School is a defining moment. It is when a person decides what they want to be and what they are going to do with their life. In this time a person can either rise to the occasion or fall. I have seen both and it is very easy to get caught up in the crush. I am in Early College and this is an even more interesting experience. This really splits those who are going to make something out of themselves and those who are not. There are many factors that can do this. During my high school experience I have encountered academic struggles which have helped me reach academic accomplishments and get me closer to my aspirations.
     There are many struggles that pertain to school. I have a tendency to procrastinate and do not have good time management. I tell myself that I will do something that day, yet I end up doing it the next. My work always gets done, just not in a timely fashion. This is a very bad habit as my work load is massive. At any time I may have a project and four homework assignments to get done. All of this leads to not sleeping very much. To get everything done that needs to be, I have to cut something out. Sleep seems to be the only option. This is a hectic life, but it is not all bad.
     All of my struggles lead to accomplishments. Excluding doctors appointments, I have not missed a day of high school. I am proud of that because there are days that I wonder whether it is worth it. For the most part I get good grades. Physical Science is a challenge, but I get by. All of my other classes stay around an A and I intend to keep it that way. I have also stayed in Dr. Kestler’s lab. Keeping up with school work and being at school an extra eight hours is tough, but I think it will help me in the future. My future plans vary, but they all focus on getting through school.
     I intend to turn my accomplishments into aspirations. I need to improve my work ethic and fast. I need to stop procrastinating and start studying more often. Subsequently, by studying more often I might raise my Physical Science grade. I study now, but I need to study harder to get the grade that I want. One last goal for the year is to go to Denver with my lab group. I have the chance to go to ASM (American Society for Microbiology) this year and I have worked hard to get there.
     The academic struggles that I have faced have helped me achieve accomplishments and will get me closer to my aspirations. Early College has forced me to realize both my strengths and weaknesses. I need to mold both of these things to be successful in life. I have learned that high school is a crazy world and that it is going to be a hard two years, but I will get through it.

Cyber Bullying

    Somewhere in a bully’s something went wrong and now they have to take it out on somebody else. I think people bully online because they do not have the guts to do so in person. They think that they are safe because they are behind a computer screen and the person that they are harassing is not in front of them. I feel that people are more likely to take a stand online than in person. The same thing happens with bullies, they are more confident not saying something straight to those who oppose them. I find that in both of these cases people are not able to do things in person. They think that they are safe if they do no directly deal with the person in question.

    People should help others no matter the situation. If somebody will help another who is being held at knife point without hesitation, then why not help somebody who is being bullied with words. I would want somebody to stand up for me so that is what I do for other people. 

Rights

     I believe that those who knowingly possess objects that are not lawfully theirs are in the wrong. There people acknowledge that the item is not theirs and they choose to disregard that fact. There are other instances where the people who possess the item do not know that it is not theirs. In our system of law those who are in possession of stolen articles are considered criminals. This I do not agree with. Though I do think that in both cases the objects should be returned in a reasonable manner.

     I think the true owner of the item should have the right to take it back as long as they are reasonable. If somebody borrows a lawn mower and does not return it, the owner does not go in with guns blazing. As long as the process stays calm and non-violent I see no problem with the rightful owner taking back their property.

Those Who Help

 There are many people who go above and beyond in a moment of crisis. There are some people who will do anything in their power to help those in need. These people are seen in many situations. They can be firefighters, policemen, doctors and military personnel and then there are others who have a more subtle impact. Everybody helps in their own way no matter what is at stake. People save others lives at the risk of their own life because they can. I think that they do this because they have the ability and the want to help people. In a time of crisis these people are relied on to make things happen and they embrace that. There are people who will ask no questions when a stranger is in trouble and they will help right away. They put themselves out there to help others because it is what they can do for the world and that is what they choose to do with their lives. This path is not for everybody though. There are only so many people who can put their own life on the line for others. I do not think this is a selfish thing. A normal person runs from flames, firefighters run to them. Not everybody can be expected to do that and they should not be considered cowardly. There are only a select few that can put self preservation behind them and risk their own lives. The people who take care of themselves first are at least taking care of themselves. They are not making a bigger problem which is actually quite helpful. I find that admirable because in a crisis many go into panic mode. So there are those who help others and those who help themselves. Both types of people are crucial in any situation.

An Amazing Woman

    If I could spend a day with anybody from the past I would choose Elizabeth Blackwell. She was born in England in the 1800’s and had two sisters. She was tutored at home until the family moved to the United States. Later her father died and the family needed some way to live so they began a school. Her family was unlike most at the time and had radical ideas about female rights. Elizabeth once balked at becoming a female doctor, but she warmed to the idea. She applied to numerous medical schools, but none would take her because she was female. One school though, thinking it was a joke, accepted her. She proved to the school that she was just as good, if not better, than a man and became the first female to graduate with a Ph. D. She went on to construct medical schools for females in both the United States and England along with the help of her sister who followed her unorthodox path. Instead of settling for a life she did not want she became a female doctor which was unheard of at the time. She also chose to be different in her personal life as well. She adopted a child and was a single mother which was a bold move.

    I would want to spend time with her because she completely changed the field of medicine. I would want to talk to her about different things like her life and her schooling. She decided to be original and go her own way which is inspiring. I would also want to go to hospitals and show her the revolution that she started. Because of her so many things are open to the female population and she deserves to know how much of an impact that she has had. She changed the way the world deals with females and I think it would be great if she could see the effects of that 100 years later.

    This was a woman who dreamed big and did not stop until that dream was reality. She faced hardship, discrimination, and a disapproving society yet she never faltered. I can only hope to be a third of what she was and help to change the world for the better.

A Very Educational Experience

During Christmas vacation I got to experience a very interesting doctor’s appointment. My mother and I had to take my great grandfather to the dermatologists. A skin biopsy had to be done and I though it was very interesting. A circular knife was used to cut the infected area and then it was lifted with forceps and cut off. The samples were put into a container to be sent to the lab and tested. He had stitches put in and I am happy to say that I have finally gotten used to the procedure. My great grandfather had very thin blood due to a blood thinner so he bled quite profusely. My mom had to leave the room during this portion and I thought it was funny because she has four children and should be used to blood by now. Bandages were then applied and directions were given to keep the area clean and wrapped. A follow up appointment was made to both remove the stitches and to get the results of the tests. A week later we went back to the doctors and as the stitches were being removed the doctor gave us good news. The rash that had been the topic of the biopsy was shown to be drug related and had no traces of cancer. An appointment was made to discuss what options there are to prevent this rash from occurring in the future. Medicines will have to be changed or altered to avoid problems in the future.

This doctor’s appointment was interesting not only because of the biopsy procedure, but also because of the conversation. The doctor is a distant relation that my mother used to baby sit so there were some interesting stories that were told. It is nice to know that there is somebody in my family that is in the field that I want to go in to. I know that I will be able to talk to him about any questions that I have concerning schooling and the medical field. Along with that, the doctor and I discussed different schooling and career paths that would be good for me to look into. I mention surgery and he joked that I was in for some fun times. He was being sarcastic of course because in general surgeons get very little sleep.

Many people may think that this is a weird way to spend a vacation, but this is the kind of stuff that interests me. I get to learn new things about the human body just by tagging along to a doctors appointment. This was the most exciting thing that happened over my vacation and it was very educational as well. I learned new procedures and new afflictions of the human body and this knowledge may come in handy in the future. This experience only proves to me that I have made the right decision in choosing a career. Many people are set on a medical career and then they can not stand the blood, I am glad to say that I will not have that problem in the future.